I'm not quite sure what to write, it feels as if now that my time overseas are done (for the moment) part of me feels like I have nothing more to write about. But then I feel a stirring inside of me, a tiny whisper that simply states "that's a lie, you're just getting started." nothing more and nothing less. As I try to get more beyond that, what it will look like, maybe a hint at what the adventures will be or where they will take me I am met with silence, a frigid stone cold silence. This isn't just a one time thing though, it's happened many times over the past few months. Every time I come away frustrated yet reassured. Frustrated because I like to know whats going to happen, reassured because I know that I just felt the Holy Spirit move in me.
I think so often we but into the life that our adventures are over after we have a big adventure, but the more and more I've dwelt on this the past few months I think it is a horrible lie that we so readily embrace, because it's what society tells us is normal, and then as I think on that I start to laugh. The laughter grows and grows within me, and sometimes it becomes verbal, but for the most part it's internal. I laugh because I start comparing my life to what society says is normal and what you need to do to be a success. For the most part I haven't even been close to that.
I'm fine with not being close to that at all because I've had the opportunity to live more in 2 years then some people have in their whole life, and I'm fine with the fact that by society standards I'm just another college dropout whose just getting by. I'm fine with it because I know that I belong to another society who doesn't judge by the same standards the world does. The standards that this society calls believers to is meant to be a life of adventure, risk, beauty, heartbreak, and change. It's meant to be one that leaves us on our knees broken at times, and at other times requires us to stand and take everything this life can throw at us knowing that there are thousands if not millions around the world right now doing the same thing. It calls us to take pride in the fact that we are part of a lineage of many great men and women, and as we stand looking back we need to figure how to move our lineage forward and pass it on to others.
I'm closing this post with a story that came from a game of paintball I was reffing, It was for a group of 10 guys that were doing this as part of the bachelor party for Ben, the very last game they played was 8 against the groom who was going to be Rambo and rescue the prisoner. Ben decided to start in the woods and hid for a while trying to lure the others into an ambush but realizing they weren't coming Ben decided to man up and charge out of the woods. As he charged out the 8 came up over a hill. In that moment Ben had a choice charge into the onslaught you all know is going to happen or retreat. Ben charged in guns blazing, yelling at the top of his voice. As he did though, it dawned on me, "this is how life is going to be sometimes". Sometime we will be faced with the decision do we run and cower behind something hoping the storm passes or will we like Ben charge towards it and take all life has to through at us? I want to be like Ben, I want to charge through and stand my ground with those that have in the past and those that have yet to in the future. I want to end life battered, bruised, and smiling, having lived it for all it was worth.
I think so often we but into the life that our adventures are over after we have a big adventure, but the more and more I've dwelt on this the past few months I think it is a horrible lie that we so readily embrace, because it's what society tells us is normal, and then as I think on that I start to laugh. The laughter grows and grows within me, and sometimes it becomes verbal, but for the most part it's internal. I laugh because I start comparing my life to what society says is normal and what you need to do to be a success. For the most part I haven't even been close to that.
I'm fine with not being close to that at all because I've had the opportunity to live more in 2 years then some people have in their whole life, and I'm fine with the fact that by society standards I'm just another college dropout whose just getting by. I'm fine with it because I know that I belong to another society who doesn't judge by the same standards the world does. The standards that this society calls believers to is meant to be a life of adventure, risk, beauty, heartbreak, and change. It's meant to be one that leaves us on our knees broken at times, and at other times requires us to stand and take everything this life can throw at us knowing that there are thousands if not millions around the world right now doing the same thing. It calls us to take pride in the fact that we are part of a lineage of many great men and women, and as we stand looking back we need to figure how to move our lineage forward and pass it on to others.
I'm closing this post with a story that came from a game of paintball I was reffing, It was for a group of 10 guys that were doing this as part of the bachelor party for Ben, the very last game they played was 8 against the groom who was going to be Rambo and rescue the prisoner. Ben decided to start in the woods and hid for a while trying to lure the others into an ambush but realizing they weren't coming Ben decided to man up and charge out of the woods. As he charged out the 8 came up over a hill. In that moment Ben had a choice charge into the onslaught you all know is going to happen or retreat. Ben charged in guns blazing, yelling at the top of his voice. As he did though, it dawned on me, "this is how life is going to be sometimes". Sometime we will be faced with the decision do we run and cower behind something hoping the storm passes or will we like Ben charge towards it and take all life has to through at us? I want to be like Ben, I want to charge through and stand my ground with those that have in the past and those that have yet to in the future. I want to end life battered, bruised, and smiling, having lived it for all it was worth.
