I am the squirming 2 year old

I’ve had many people ask me to continue my blog, and honestly I find it hard to find things to write about now that I’m in a place where I’m comfortable. Everything seems normal and boring and it seems so much harder to find God. It seems like such a good idea sometimes to say “you know what? I’m done with this, if you want me come find me.” But as I’m thinking that I can’t help but remember all the times in my life that He has came and found me. The times where I didn't even want to be found, he still chased after me.

                It’s in remembering those times that I often become reduced to a blubbering crying mess, wanting nothing more than to just crawl into His arms and rest, much like a child does when they are exhausted and want to sleep. The image that always comes to my mind when I think of this is of my friend Joe Wisley sitting on the couch talking to me and seeing his son Jake come up to him, fumble his way up onto the couch and crawl into his daddy’s arms and just be still. Then there are the times where Joe will pick up Jake and force him to sit still.

                I feel like this is where I’m at now, I am the squirming 2 year old that wants to get down and run around, I’m not content with where I’m at and am eagerly striving for the next thing. But Dad is sitting there holding me in a bear hug, forcing me to stay where I am, knowing that the future will come soon enough. Much as like Joe knows with Jake, these times won’t last forever no matter how much he want them to, and so he cherish them, much in the same way Dad cherishes the times He has with us where we simply sit in His arms.

Jake, however doesn’t know that these times won’t last forever and it’s only once he’s grown up, that will he cherish those times. I believe that it’s only once we are past them, that we truly are grateful for them, but while we’re in them we are a constant mass of squirming arms and kicking legs trying to get free.

Now to shift gears, having been in the states for close to 2 months I’m happy to say that, while I have bought things, I haven’t been feeling as drawn to buying them as I once was. It seems as if that was a part of me that was left in India, and it’s a relief honestly. I’m no longer consumed with the thought of buying this or that new thing, and there have been a few times where I’m pretty sure God has intervened to keep me from buying things. The most recent occurrence being today.

Now for another gear shift. People have been asking me what I plan to do after this summer, so here it is: I’m going to visit a friend in Puerto Rico for a month and then moving out west. That’s all I’ve gotten so far, I’ll let you know as things progress.